Ten Things You Should Never Say to a Plastic Surgeon’s Wife

Think being married to a plastic surgeon is all cookies and crème? Well, maybe, but certainly not all the time. We are like any other wives out there, with our own list of annoying things people say to us. However, Hollywood has managed to portray us as cosmetic surgery junkies with Michael Jackson-like visions for cosmetic results and daily lives living at the spa. There may be a few wives out there that match this description, but the truth is most of us are quite the opposite. I have compiled a list of my top ten things you should never say to a plastic surgeon’s wife, but keep in mind: I stopped at ten.

  • Must be nice being married to a plastic surgeon, you can get procedures whenever you want.

This statement screams of shallowness. I can’t speak for some plastic surgeon wives, but I can speak for the ones I know: we did not marry our husbands based on their profession.  Albeit it can be nice, but it isn’t as convenient as some may think. Their schedules are busy and taking the time to do procedures on their wives can be tricky.  First, some hospitals have rules against “operating on family members.” Like we are going to let our husband’s competition operate on us? Uh, no. Next, employees can get weird and think they deserve some “freebies” too. Like the wife should have to pay the employee price too? Uh, no. Then, there’s the after care: the plastic surgeon husband gets to be the care taker too! Bravo! There’s the added benefit!

  • I don’t believe in plastic surgery. You should live with what God gave you.

People who say this to plastic surgeons and their spouses are calling themselves out as truly ignorant. Those same people will be the first to call when they cut their finger, or need special attention to that potential skin cancer on their nose. All of a sudden how those scars are going to look will matter. Then appears the “cosmetic” argument.  Breast implants following mastectomy can be considered “cosmetic” in nature especially if the patient needs a revision years later.  Many plastic surgeons have also witnessed confidence transformations in their cosmetic surgery patients. Cosmetic surgery isn’t just about “altering” a person’s appearance, it can enhance much more than the image in the mirror.  I am also holding myself back from posting before and after photos of children born with deformities. Should those kids “live with what God gave them?” Uh, no.

  • I know your husband gets medical stuff for free, so when do I get my free implants?

This is one of the most annoying statements made to plastic surgeons, their spouses, and employees. The assumption that doctors get all their medical supplies for “free” and  just because they may have their own private in-office operative suite doesn’t mean it doesn’t come with a cost. Doctors get charged premium on everything. They get very little for free, even prescription samples. Skincare companies rarely give samples to physicians for their patients. Most of those samples you ask for before investing in the products are purchased by the physicians.  Hitting up the wife for some of those “freebies” can really touch a nerve. Surgeons reserve those few “freebies” for their wives, employees, and maybe even themselves.

  • Doesn’t it bother you that your husband touches other women’s breasts all day?

Doesn’t it bother you that your husband has his face in other women’s vaginas all day?  Really people? All physicians have what could be considered “uncomfortable” situations in their daily profession of medicine.  It’s the human body to them, their heads are not in the gutter and the wives are not that insecure about their marriages.

  • How many cosmetic procedures have you had?

Many a time do plastic surgeon wives get asked this question. Well, okay, honestly, too often is this question asked. So don’t be surprised if the answer you get is something along the line of, “You know, you should really go see my husband about those bags under your eyes.”

  • You really shouldn’t trust nurses around doctors.

Why? Doctors are not starring in a daily soap-opera filled with your fantasies. The truth is that nurses actually insulate doctors from those patients who may have a few fantasies of their own. The truth is: doctors get hit-on more by their patients than those nurses who work for them – Especially in the supposed glamorized world of plastic surgery.

  • You should really try this skincare line I sale. I think it would work for you.

Everyone is out to earn a little extra money these days, and some of those people seem to forget how that sales pitch can be more of an insult to a plastic surgeon’s wife.  Plastic surgeons take a lot of pride in their wives and their wives do take advantage of their skills and access to great skincare.  Next time you memorize that sales pitch you learn at the training seminar, think about how it applies to the receiver.  The sales pitch is not a one-size-fits-all.  Not to mention, you might be quizzed regarding the exact chemistry of your skincare line and how it works. The plastic surgeon wife might be more willing to point out the ineffectiveness of your retail-store product compared to the physician-only product line. Be prepared to learn more about your product than you actually learned at that training seminar. Otherwise, don’t try to sale skincare to a plastic surgeon’s wife unless you are Dr. Obagi himself.

  • When are you going to have a Botox party?

It’s not ethical for doctors to deliver medical care in a party environment. Medical records should be on hand to document the medical treatment, waivers should be signed, sterile supplies, and the consumption of alcoholic beverages is not recommended following such a treatment.  Assuming your friend can schedule a fun party for some free Botox is out of line. Botox is very expensive. So why do you think doctors would give away thousands of dollars for the wifie pooh’s friends? If your friendship is only valued by what you can get out of the plastic surgeon, then maybe you need to move to another circle.

  • Did your husband do many cosmetic procedures on you before he would marry you?

{{Insert Charlie Brown “UUGGGGHHHH”  – here}}  Hollywood has opened the eyes of the cosmetic industry to some favorable and unfavorable characters.  Sure, there are one or two hideous stories out there about a wannabe-plastic surgeon shining a light up his arse in some sort of pride over their claim of molding the perfect wife. We should truly feel sorry for the wife, but never assume plastic surgery marital bliss began with a pre-nup requiring cosmetic refinements.  Dr. Ralph Millard said it best, “Know the ideal beautiful normal.”

  • I hear doctors always marry ‘down’ in intellect, especially plastic surgeons due to their egos.

Did you know my husband did a brain transplant on me before he would marry me? Claimed I was too smart and that wives are not allowed to have higher IQ’s than their doctor husbands{{Sarcasm}}.  The truth be, all doctors favor intellectual engagement and like to have intellectual conversation over dinner.  Real Plastic Surgeons are among the highest educated in the medical field. The plastic surgery industry and surgical techniques are quite “plastikos” as well as other medical specialties, but theirs receives more Hollywood exposure and glamorization.  Their careers began with intense studies requiring both sides of their brain, so they tend to gravitate to spouses who can understand these demands. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not shining a light up my arse here declaring my outstanding IQ, but my astro-physics professor from college would gladly come to my defense as he is convinced I missed my calling to be an astro-physicist. I just hated differential equations.

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About The Plastic Truth

Plastic Surgery Practice Manager, Founder of ThePlasticTruth.com, kidney donor, website administrator, all things plastic surgery blogger, and non-profit executive administrator. Google theplastictruth@aol.com
This entry was posted in General Plastic Surgery Information, Misc and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Ten Things You Should Never Say to a Plastic Surgeon’s Wife

  1. Brenda Nunnery says:

    Great article. I totally agree with every word!!

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